Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Another chapter of my life ends and a new one begins.

One stands at a sprawling path laid ahead. I will change again, but only superficially. I have been the same and I am motivated by the same ideals all these years.

People say, that time will change people. I have not and I will not.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

How I feel right now.

原来呀 / 爱其实不会留下什么 / 只留下残缺的梦
yuán lái ya / ài qí shí bù huì liú xià shén me / zhǐ liú xià cán quē de mèng

能不能 / 再把你的爱借点给我 / 好让我继续飘流
néng bù néng / zài bǎ nǐ de ài jiè diǎn gěi wǒ / hǎo ràng wǒ jì xù piāo liú

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Sir Humphrey Appleby is my ideal role model :D

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Weird Habits.

When I want to write, I instinctively tap my left breast pocket for a pen... even when I don't have a shirt on.
It is a joy to work.

And be productive.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

An interesting lunch.

All the men used a pair of chopsticks and a chinese spoon to eat noodles or rice with yong tau fu. The women used western fork and spoons to eat noodles.

What a statement of conservatism vs liberalism.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Hangman
by Maurice Ogden

1. Into our town the Hangman came.
Smelling of gold and blood and flame
and he paced our bricks with a diffident air
and built his frame on the courthouse square
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door
And we wondered, whenever we had the time.
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead:
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raise the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope on the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down. and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke.
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.

2. The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town
And stark and black in the morning air,
The gallows-tree on the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday. with the alien one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us: "
… Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" One cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm,
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.

3. The third he took-we had all heard tell
Was a user and infidel, and
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched out comfort hard and long;
And what concern, he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed--the doomed and black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the last?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score:
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side:
And the monster cross-beam, looking down.
Cast its shadow across the town.

4. Then through the town the Hangman came
And called in the empty streets my name-
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging." And so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree.
And I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap
And it sprang down with a ready snap
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then.
"That your scaffold was built for other men …
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me. Hangman. foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true"
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others that might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?,"
"Dead," I whispered, and sadly
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the alien, then the Jew …
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky.
None had stood so alone as I
And the Hangman strapped me, and no voice there
Cried "Stay!" for me in the empty square

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The problem with me is that I search for meaning at odd hours.


An interesting rallying song of socialism.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

One must never abandon their friends. If I ever leave, I swear I will return, bringing with me the wealth of my tribulations.

So help me __________.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Economics in Hell.

Watching the same video, I took note of the hell notes which are typically burnt in HUGE amounts. Now if we are to think about "Physics" and hell on whether hell would freeze over, it leads to this conclusion.

Most major (or minor) religions states to a certain extent that if you don't believe in their version of god, you're going to hell and this means that either way, everyone's going to hell. Assuming that hell has a certain amount of energy (or heat or kelvins) and the amount of people going to hell (which is everyone) is going to increase exponentially due to the effect of having too many religions, hell would eventually "freeze" over as the term freezing usually describes 0 degrees Celsius for the freezing point of water.

Now, let us talk about money supply using very basic terms. The chinese always burnt a lot of hell notes in excessive amounts to their deceased kin, relative etc. An interesting prospect that we can think about is this... assuming all "burnt" offerings go to selected individuals and then different manufacturer of different offerings (for burning) represents different 'currencies', we will know that the cheapest currency (burnt by the largest amount of people obviously because is cheap) would become the currency suffering the greatest inflation due to a large injection of money supply.

This would rapidly lose its worth as compared to 'currencies' of other or more expensive manufacture. In retrospect, what should be done, is to reduce the amount of money burnt, to curb the exorbitant inflation occurring in hell right now. The GDP of Singapore has increased substantially over the years and so has the buying power. However, the cost of paper to make burnt offerings or the price of burnt offerings has not increased significantly in comparison with the buying power.

Combined with filial piety dictating the more you have, the more you should 'give' or 'offer'... this leads to a very very drastic increase in the amount of money supply in hell!

Interestingly, should an individual have many "out-of-print" hell notes, it makes fantastic currency similar to how a "out-of-print" mint would be sought after in a collector's market. I'm pretty sure there're people out there dying to buy a piece of say... Deutschmark/Reichsmark (for the diehard nazis).
Trading Forex.

Listening to Nasi Wa Woo Jipaban while trading forex is a very bad idea. For those of you who do not know what this hokkien song means, it stands for "What if I had a Million Dollars".

I leave the implication up to those of you who understand trading heh.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Each time I cry, because I've to make a sacrifice. With each sacrifice, a part of me dies. Something that I deeply treasure becomes lost forever. As time pass, I realise I cannot be myself, because the world does not permit so.

All these pain, because one day I really hope to make the world a better place. I am devoid of happiness, because I carry a heavy burden with me.

I want to become successful, but not through this way. This is sheer desperation.
I really have to post this, because this is too funny. Playing Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2, I got into this spat with this silly "pro" who obviously has no life other than MW2 seeing as how much emphasis he puts in the game and self-righteously dictating what people should do and not do.

He harboured an enmity against me because apparently I offended him by typing "lol" on killing someone and he went on thrash talking. The funniest part was, my team kinda sucked real bad but I carried the team to victory. We had a record 100 kills vs 97 kills, we were so close to losing considering most of the guys on our team weren't that good.

When we won, I totally went BALLISTIC! Like HAHAHHAAHHA! WE ACTUALLY WON! LOL! And this "pro" was coming up with lame excuses like, it doesn't matter, we've killed you lots of times anyway... I'm like, eh... I got a positive KDR of at least 2:1 compared to his 1:1 and he wasn't even top frag where as I was TOP FRAG! BOO YAH!

When the game was over and we went into the "lobby", I just "shouted" into the mike "OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING SUCK!" and quickly quit the game before they could shoot a retort. OMFG that felt FANTASTIC. UP YOURS SWINE! IN YOUR FACE!

Needless to say, that guy would be raging for the next 30 mins until he pwns some poor noob. Online griefing is so funny. Oh my god, this is just too hilarious.

Jeez, I can't stop laughing about this.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Trust.

I suppose once my trust is lost, it is something that is near impossible to regain. Maybe I'm a deeply suspicious individual by nature.
Irregularities.

I think a human thrives on consistency in their life and on having regularities and not having too much unpleasant shocks to deal with in life. Some of the things which keeps reminding me of the importance of having a good leader, is that of competence and of achieving things.

So far in my life, I've encountered numerous "small" issues in my childhood which built in me a very strong "dislike" for incompetent authority. As I became older, I've been told over and over again, the need to 'listen' and to 'respect' such, as they are your seniors.

However, this advice is flawed to the core. In an ironic way, no one knows better than yourself (provided you have logically 'reasoned' out the causes) what is the best solution. A very good concept from Sun Tzu's Art of War;

Six Strategic Mistakes

Sun Tzu said:

An army may suffer as a result of:

1. Flight
2. Collapse
3. Insubordination
4. Disintegration
5. Disorder
6. Desertion.

They are not due to natural catastrophes, but the errors of leaders.

(I would like to highlight these points)

2. Insubordination:
Capable troops led by weak officers.

5. Disorder:
When commanders are not firm and cannot give clear instructions, resulting in poor discipline. And strategy is deployed illogically.

6. Desertion:
The commander has poor judgment, pitting a small force against a large one and the strategy is flat and unfocused.

In wrongly obeying the incapable, it creates cause for dissatisfaction and as time goes on, disruption and quarrels. This expresses how I feel about some people.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Found the "New Year Resolution" of 2007.


1) Learn to play the Violin/Piano - Failed
2) Learn German - Check, Basic Standard achieved.
3) Learn Ballroom Dancing - Failed
4) Be well armoured - Failed
5) Get more Adidas Clothing - Check
6) Buy G2000! - Check
7) Buy a Tissot watch - Failed

Resolution for 2010 I guess.

1) Establish a Career/Become a Professional
2) 10:30 2.4km Timing
A New Year.

It was interesting that I considered staying up from 3rd January Sunday, to 4th January Monday as the eve of the new year for myself because it is the first working day of the year. It is ironic that I have tuned my life to a "working" culture.

I tried to dig up the "list" of new year resolutions which I think I've probably written somewhere on my blog but it remains to be found or rather... to be verified if it exists.

What I am really concerned or want to contemplate, is the accomplishment of tasks, goals and reaching somewhere in life. Achieving something isn't as simple as saying that you want to do it and announcing it publicly.

23 Years and not a moment younger.
Intense Soul/Life Searching.

After scourging through the interweb uncovering the mysteries of other online phenomena and much hated enemies... I come to realise a few very sad things about life.

1. The bigger of a jackass they are, the more ugly or unattractive they look.
2. If they look decent, they are the "bimbo", stupid idiot model.

Its shockingly simple but true and accurate. I've seen this reflected in my life experience many times. The way a person look and behave will reflect his life. His/Her environment will dictate their personality.

Hence fitness, sharp appearances, are all important to a person's character and perhaps, even psychological well being. If you see and perceive yourself to be disciplined, determined or other noteworthy virtues simply because of an association of aesthetic features with characters of similar qualities... it could be so.

It gives room, to think about myself as well, perhaps some feelings of personal insecurity hence the need to reduce the "status" of others to typical idiosyncrasies while they repeat the same to my online persona similarly.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

I learnt something today. I can be a highly ethical person, but also the most immoral bastard you'll ever meet.

I need meaning in my life.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Afflicted.

I feel like I'm on my deathbed. Being sick sucks.
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