Desire.

Once again, my weekend felt listless. Life carried on without meaning. In squaring my shoulders and moving on, I left my memories and meaning behind. I realised that, most, if not all of my friends. They all kept pictures with them. Pictures of their youth, pictures of school, pictures of the silly things they used to do.

And I have kept none therefore I have no memories.

I have lost my desire to live. What is there to live for? The few reasons which suicide is not an option for me, are what I called principles. Principles like;

Duty, Honour, Country.

Duties left unfulfilled. Duties to my friends, to things not yet done, to the wrongs which has not yet been right.

To honour my promises, to honour friendship and integrity. To not let anyone down.

But country. There isn't anything much to say about country. Nothing I can be proud of.

I stand tall in life. I kept true to my beliefs. I had faith in the truth. Now, I die standing. Perhaps this is a solitary moment in life, when I am saddened by the lack of life in life itself, in the people around me. Perhaps tomorrow morning would be a better day.

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.

- Ernest Hemingway