A question of Vindication.
Today I believed I potentially did what I think was morally wrong and ethically objectionable. I committed to a certain extent, political back-stabbing. I think the receiving party felt like I have stabbed a thousand knives into his back.
I will not bother with the history of how it came to be as such but I will examine the scenarios which causes me to do as I thought was right at the moment. The event occurred during a meeting.
i) Political Ambition - I think I was lobbying a little too hard for the support of some members and at the point in time they showed sympathetic support because....
ii) Unjustified Reprimand - they have received an unreasonable reprimmand. If translated from civilian politeness (and corporate language), it translates to army lingo as being "fucked left right up down" in the sense that you've just been royally screwed over verbally. Nothing sexual of course.
A leader amongst them felt that what I had to present for the meeting was more useful and important and supported me verbally and with his body language.
I feel that he is a fine man of good talent that should be retained. As much as he may have instigated the 'assault', he is not to be faulted. If he had protected his men as a good superior should have and planned the meeting before hand, this wouldn't have happened. You who is privileged to read my opinion know what I speak of and it is best to leave him out of this.
iii) Personal frustration - I was frustrated with the receiving party because I have used a 'soft' approach towards him for a long time. Those who know me well enough know that I am an extremely forceful and vindictive character. Since things have "blew up" as a result of his inaction...
iv) Political Justification? - I took the law into my hands and I struck really hard. Although if translated from army terms, I am giving a very very gentle reminder because if you screw up on this magnitude in the army... be prepared that anyone and everyone who is outside the sound-proof meeting room will hear the chairing Senior Warrant Officer gun the infidel with seemingly unending streams of colourful vocabulary.
In army terms if someone highlighted this issue in the 'gentle' and 'polite' manner which I did... was to give a lot of "face" and "chance" to the offending party.
Unfortunately I am reminded by my friend that this isn't the army... though I very much like to settle things the army way. Straight forward and simple, just whack.
So having listed the things which I felt compelled me to act in this manner, I couldn't help but feel a slight tinge of regret at having "stabbed" so many daggers into him. Also I committed another action which was ill timed and ill explained.
The first action which I described so vividly isn't so much of a concern. It is the second issue which I mentioned which I am concerned about. I am not worried about the consequences that I may suffer as a result. I will do what I believe is true and right regardless of what happens.
However, I cannot let another be maligned or suffer as a result of my actions.
I fear my actions have ill-repercussions on a good man and I have to work extremely hard to undo the damage which may have been done.
I should fear, my ambition and conviction, which could bring much harm. However, what is said cannot be taken back, or it should never be said in the first place.
I have made an enemy of a man today.
This pride and malice I have which worries me so. when have I become such a political animal?
Then again, my thoughts linger to this post which I once placed here.
"You have no enemies, you say?
Alas, my friend, the boast is poor.
He who has mingled in the fray of duty
that the brave endure, must have made foes.
If you have none, small is the work that you have done.
You’ve hit no traitor on the hip.
You’ve dashed no cup from perjured lip.
You’ve never turned the wrong to right.
You’ve been a coward in the fight."
I know god doesn't exist but cliches like these are too good to pass up.
Let faith guide my hand and strike true and just against those who shirk from their line of duty in these troubled times when conviction questions conscience.
So help me god!
Today I believed I potentially did what I think was morally wrong and ethically objectionable. I committed to a certain extent, political back-stabbing. I think the receiving party felt like I have stabbed a thousand knives into his back.
I will not bother with the history of how it came to be as such but I will examine the scenarios which causes me to do as I thought was right at the moment. The event occurred during a meeting.
i) Political Ambition - I think I was lobbying a little too hard for the support of some members and at the point in time they showed sympathetic support because....
ii) Unjustified Reprimand - they have received an unreasonable reprimmand. If translated from civilian politeness (and corporate language), it translates to army lingo as being "fucked left right up down" in the sense that you've just been royally screwed over verbally. Nothing sexual of course.
A leader amongst them felt that what I had to present for the meeting was more useful and important and supported me verbally and with his body language.
I feel that he is a fine man of good talent that should be retained. As much as he may have instigated the 'assault', he is not to be faulted. If he had protected his men as a good superior should have and planned the meeting before hand, this wouldn't have happened. You who is privileged to read my opinion know what I speak of and it is best to leave him out of this.
iii) Personal frustration - I was frustrated with the receiving party because I have used a 'soft' approach towards him for a long time. Those who know me well enough know that I am an extremely forceful and vindictive character. Since things have "blew up" as a result of his inaction...
iv) Political Justification? - I took the law into my hands and I struck really hard. Although if translated from army terms, I am giving a very very gentle reminder because if you screw up on this magnitude in the army... be prepared that anyone and everyone who is outside the sound-proof meeting room will hear the chairing Senior Warrant Officer gun the infidel with seemingly unending streams of colourful vocabulary.
In army terms if someone highlighted this issue in the 'gentle' and 'polite' manner which I did... was to give a lot of "face" and "chance" to the offending party.
Unfortunately I am reminded by my friend that this isn't the army... though I very much like to settle things the army way. Straight forward and simple, just whack.
So having listed the things which I felt compelled me to act in this manner, I couldn't help but feel a slight tinge of regret at having "stabbed" so many daggers into him. Also I committed another action which was ill timed and ill explained.
The first action which I described so vividly isn't so much of a concern. It is the second issue which I mentioned which I am concerned about. I am not worried about the consequences that I may suffer as a result. I will do what I believe is true and right regardless of what happens.
However, I cannot let another be maligned or suffer as a result of my actions.
I fear my actions have ill-repercussions on a good man and I have to work extremely hard to undo the damage which may have been done.
I should fear, my ambition and conviction, which could bring much harm. However, what is said cannot be taken back, or it should never be said in the first place.
I have made an enemy of a man today.
This pride and malice I have which worries me so. when have I become such a political animal?
Then again, my thoughts linger to this post which I once placed here.
"You have no enemies, you say?
Alas, my friend, the boast is poor.
He who has mingled in the fray of duty
that the brave endure, must have made foes.
If you have none, small is the work that you have done.
You’ve hit no traitor on the hip.
You’ve dashed no cup from perjured lip.
You’ve never turned the wrong to right.
You’ve been a coward in the fight."
I know god doesn't exist but cliches like these are too good to pass up.
Let faith guide my hand and strike true and just against those who shirk from their line of duty in these troubled times when conviction questions conscience.
So help me god!
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