Anger management 101.
I had a great evening of sorts. I went to train myself, even though my running sucked. It felt good to train, that I'm putting in effort to help myself. Even if I ran an average of 2:15 to 2:20 per round for 5 laps, its alright anyway. Its alright that I can only manage a pathetic sum of push ups, that I completed a few sets of static PT without fantastic numbers.
Its alright that I should have been doing IPPT this evening and that if I did, I would have failed my running segment. Its alright that I go to work and regularly enter arguments with my chief about work especially when I'm putting in a lot of effort into it. Its alright that I don't have money, I just need to work hard, put in effort, trade, work on business and someday I'll have the money and things will be fine.
Its alright that I'm not going for swordsmanship and that whatever I tried to build up in Phemas has fallen apart and I'm being viewed with disdain but one day when I can come back I can set everything right.
It seems fine to have hypertension. I can only understand that with all the things that has been happening and my parents constantly quarreling with me, its a sooner or later thing to get it.
I quite accept the things I can hit with in life, that I don't have an A level cert, that I didn't get into a relationship with the girl I loved, that I didn't make it into any prestigious school, that I screwed up big time in fencing, that if I knew about my talent, how much I would have trained back then.
At the end of the day, you are really left lost for words about what this was all about? This short nonsense of life which lasted twenty years. I can barely remember the moments when I was really happy.
A few quotes to top it off...
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing”
- Theodore Roosevelt
How long to go before I can set things right.
I had a great evening of sorts. I went to train myself, even though my running sucked. It felt good to train, that I'm putting in effort to help myself. Even if I ran an average of 2:15 to 2:20 per round for 5 laps, its alright anyway. Its alright that I can only manage a pathetic sum of push ups, that I completed a few sets of static PT without fantastic numbers.
Its alright that I should have been doing IPPT this evening and that if I did, I would have failed my running segment. Its alright that I go to work and regularly enter arguments with my chief about work especially when I'm putting in a lot of effort into it. Its alright that I don't have money, I just need to work hard, put in effort, trade, work on business and someday I'll have the money and things will be fine.
Its alright that I'm not going for swordsmanship and that whatever I tried to build up in Phemas has fallen apart and I'm being viewed with disdain but one day when I can come back I can set everything right.
It seems fine to have hypertension. I can only understand that with all the things that has been happening and my parents constantly quarreling with me, its a sooner or later thing to get it.
I quite accept the things I can hit with in life, that I don't have an A level cert, that I didn't get into a relationship with the girl I loved, that I didn't make it into any prestigious school, that I screwed up big time in fencing, that if I knew about my talent, how much I would have trained back then.
At the end of the day, you are really left lost for words about what this was all about? This short nonsense of life which lasted twenty years. I can barely remember the moments when I was really happy.
A few quotes to top it off...
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing”
- Theodore Roosevelt
How long to go before I can set things right.
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