Training.

Woke up rather late today as I slept late last night playing games. My metabolism was totally screwed. Proceeded to play computer games until late afternoon before leaving to do some... "self-directed training".

As I cycled to the stadium, I wondered to myself about 'finding meaning in life'. I was feeling rather empty and pointless. I wonder as usual, why suddenly I desire a female companion, why I would want wealth, fitness, proficiency in my armed combat skills and fame or status. It didn't seem to make any sense as they cannot truly achieve the hollowed feeling deep inside myself. Of what use are all these if they didn't made you happy? Or made life any more interesting? Or gave life any more fun and fruitful experience?

But money. You need it to survive, to maintain a way of life.

Didn't strike me as important but rather, as a hassle. I hit the track anyway, after I reached the stadium. God, my stamina sucked.

Finish the run, felt a lot better. As I cycled back, I started to understand why I have desires, why I have goals. It was driven, by not having it, by feeling lost, left out of what I thought would made me happy. Perhaps it was the endomorphines in my blood, perhaps it was the adrenaline. I was filled with drive again.

I made up my mind. To make a training program for myself. Adhere to it and achieve a good running timing. Time to put my knowledge and prestige to the test. I am a PTI. I should know how to train myself.

Metabolism righted itself after training.

Sigh, one long way to go.