Usually, after difficult trials, I loved to sit down and write of the thoughts that were running through my mind. today was not the first, neither will it be the last. Some people whom I know, view me as a loner. Some think I am strong, some think I am confident. But what am I inside? That is the most important question which people fail to see except for a few.

Defeat. Isn't so hard for me now. Perhaps I have lost too much. There isn't the burning sensation. Where is the anger, the hate, the frustration? But replaced by a silent, futile resignation.

Pain, makes you stronger. Hurt fortifies your resolve.

Truly, when I am fighting, I ask myself when can I stop? When can I be laid to rest. Why can't I be weak for once. Maybe I should ask why I wanted to be strong in the first place.

In exchange for compassion, honesty, humanity, I became more frail, less resolute, less determined. Weak. Pathetic.

However, I believe in Hope and in Hope, do I trust that I may perhaps comfort others. I want to return to that man, behind the faceless black mask.

My problems, are mine to bear alone.